My alibi? I was getting my teeth cleaned...

Most people hate going to the dentist. At one time I may have been considered one of those people, as I once went eight years without so much as a cleaning. Will not make that mistake. It's not because I am suddenly a Mature Adult who finally realizes The Great Importance of Regular Dental Hygiene. Far from it, actually. No, going to my scheduled cleaning after work this evening was the highlight of my day.

Want to know why? 

Because I got to lie back in a comfy chair and watch Unsolved Mysteries. 

That is how much I miss that show, people. I was willing to endure scalpels, rinsing and spitting, and all sorts of awkwardness to watch it. Also, it was the new remake with Dennis Farina, so I didn't even get the full effect. But I was happy because IT WAS THE BOB BEAN EPISODE. And even though Dennis's narration can't hold a candle to Robert Stack's awesomeness, they still used the original footage. So I got to see Bob Bean and company in all their cheesy 80's bad soap opera-esque glory. 

"I love this episode!" I squealed. 

"What is it?" asked the hygienist. 

"It's Unsolved Mysteries," I said. "This episode cracks me up...they're all pointing fingers at each other and it's just ridiculous...I can't explain it, but it's funny." 

"Sounds interesting," he said as he tried to shove a scalpel and mirror in my mouth (except I wouldn't shut up). Despite having plaque scraped off my teeth and drool coming out my mouth, I was having a grand time, especially when the hygienist starting getting into the episode. 

"That Bob Bean guy is a real snake, huh?" 

"Unnh (yeah)!" was my reply. 

"I'll bet he's the murderer," he said, dabbing the drool off my chin. "Is he?" 

I wasn't planning to answer which is just as well because the scalpel and other dental tools prevented me from talking. 

Danny (the creepy brother of the murder victim) and Pat (Bob Bean's ex wife and the murder victim's fiancee) started telling their stories which caused the hygienist to chime in with "Oh, I bet THEY did it!" only to be disappointed when their alibis cleared. He would ask my input from time to time on what I thought of the case. 

"Urrgh," I said. 

Then the update music played. "Hey, an update! Have you seen this update?" he asked. Dennis Farina explained who the killer of Sammy Wheeler really was and that he had been caught. "So...did Bob Bean hire a hitman, or what?" 

"Mmrrrf!" I said, meaning "no, the FBI concluded it was a random act of violence which was their theory all along." 

We continued watching the other cases and having meaningful dialogue about each one ("he did it?" "unnf!") until the cleaning was done. Then another staff member came in to schedule my next appointment. I'm not due back until April 2014. When I got home I looked on the calendar and saw that I have a college fair that night so tomorrow morning I'm going to have to call and reschedule. 

I'll have to make sure I schedule for when Unsolved Mysteries is on.